"It took me many years to accept myself as I am"

“When I was 13 I became ashamed of my vulva. I realized that she wasn‘t the way a vulva "should" look like – the way I saw them in porn.

With large and long inner labia and a big and long clitoris I was not courageous enough to even shave my pubic hair. I wanted to hide this ugly part of me. First time at the gynaecologist I was afraid of the reaction of the doctor about my vulva. I thought she would begin to scream. Thankful, she didn‘t. I have four children (meaning: I had sex), but I never wanted to be seen in the light or – even worse – been licked by a man. 

It took me many years to accept myself as I am, and during the last three years I started in little steps accepting and more and more loving my vulva the way she is. My boyfriend loves her. This helps me to feel more comfortable with myself.”

– J, 31 years old, UK (she/her)