Learning to love myself has been an uphill battle my whole life. I’ve struggled with not being skinny enough, pretty enough, or just enough at all. Now, in my young adult life, I am understanding that beauty is everywhere around me and in me. The Vulva Gallery helped me to find love and acceptance in a unique and fun way! xoxo
R – 28 years old
I had never heard of lichen planus until I was told I had it about three years ago. It is when the immune system attacks mucus cells on different parts of the body, and in my case, the vulva. It creates sores on the labia which feel dry and itchy and I am in nearly constant pain because of this. I've stopped any hair removal and I barely wear underwear anymore as any irritation in that area is so painful, even just sitting down sometimes. It seems to be one of those 'mystery' things that doesn't have a clear explanation or cure. The cause is also unknown, although there are many speculations.
This has hugely affected my sex life; from being a naturally very sexually active person in the past, now I feel in some ways dirty or 'tainted'. I also feel fearful and disconnected from my vagina, like my body has rejected it, which makes me sad. I'm treating it homeopathically at the moment, and trying to strengthen my immune system with eating well and taking supplements, but I would love to know if other people have or have had the same issue and have any good suggestions.
I'm trying to come to terms with this and find a way forward / trying to imagine how I can enjoy having sex again. I'm so grateful for this wonderful gallery, this makes me love vulvas even more, as we're all so beautifully unique! I feel it's important to share and help each other, and this space allows that.
R – 26 years old
The portrait Hilde drew of my wife’s vulva is immediately familiar to me, immediately recognisable as the vulva of my beloved. But Hilde’s portrait of my own vulva feels less familiar. It endears me less than does M’s. Thank you, Hilde, for guiding me to this realisation and reminding me to appreciate my own vulva as much as I do my beloved’s. The Vulva Gallery has helped me to see myself as an art form, a thing of beauty to be admired and honoured. From the first day we met, my partner has honoured every part of me in a way that has also shown me that my vulva is beautiful and unique. Before, my genitals were more for function than beauty and now I am learning to notice and be proud of my body in different ways, including being more comfortable while naked. Hilde’s work is powerful and important. We plan on hanging our portraits side by side in our new home together. Love one another and love yourself!
M & R – 35 and 36 years old
I want to share a message of love and acceptance. There is so much shame surrounding such a beautiful part of us! It may be the symbol of femininity, but we are told to pick, prune and pluck them. Since a young age I have always been so conscious of pubic hair and was horrified that mine grew earlier than my friend's. Shaving was expected and my sensitive skin didn't like it at all. A couple years ago I said no thank you to causing myself razor burns and rashes, now I shave if I fancy it, not because I feel like I should to be feminine or to be appealing to other people. It was hard but I have accepted my vulva as a part of myself, not separated as an object to be scrutinised by myself for flaunting stubble. Talking to my friends and family about my vulva portrait has started a beautiful conversation on self love and confidence that I will carry through with me in every aspect of my life. I love my vulva! I love my little bean of pleasure and my inner labia. But I also love my sensitive skin, my relentless pubic hair and my vagina that has caused me problems in the past.
This gallery is so important for showing vulva diversity and love for all of them! ️♡
I've had a weird relationship with "down-there" for a while, swinging repeatedly from acceptance to bitterness, dependent largely on 3rd party opinions. For years I have been intermittently ashamed of the odours associated with frequent yeast infections (no doctor I do not douche, yes doctor I wear cotton). In my early teens I even had the fabulous experience of tiny white worms! I have defended myself as male partners dimly implied that my natural creases and loose skin could indicate a "busy [read slutty] past". More positively I have also been with ladies and marvelled warmly at our differences. I love my vulva – from its ingrown hairs, fluctuating smells to its creases and ability to help me feel amazing... so... sod 'em all.
Anonymous – 28 years old
I'd never really thought about how my vulva looked; although it sometimes was weird for me to touch it, I never questioned its appearance. But then one day I discovered The Vulva Gallery and realised that of course vulvas are all different, we all have different noses, so why not genitalia? I am currently working on a memoir about the subject of the female body and its different appearances. This work really has helped me with my own image and sexuality. I think it is important that we realise that no one is the same and that what makes us unique and beautiful are our own differences. I really wish to thank you, Hilde, for this amazing work of documenting intimate beauty from all over the world.
M. – 23 years old
About how I feel about my vulva: when I was a little kid I liked it, but growing up I listened to some comments from people, not about mine but just in general. You know, about the look (colour, shape, etc.), and for a short period of time I became a bit worried mine was ugly. I asked the gynaecologist about it on my first visit. She explained to me there are plenty of shapes and colours, just as there are all different kinds of noses on people’s faces (what an analogy!). Well, I learned to accept it as it is. I’m not shy about how it looks, although I’ve noticed it is changing, especially after childbirth. For some reason I think my clitoris is larger, and the labia are getting darker. That’s life, I guess. I’ve embraced how it is and all the changes that will come with age.
M. – 34 years old
After my first child, born cesarean, I became passionate about trail running. I even ran trails for more than half of my second pregnancy until one day, almost overnight, had horrible pain in my clitoris and rectum area. The remainder of the pregnancy was a struggle to say the least. At 42 weeks pregnant I had a successful non-medicated VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). After delivery the pain never went away. Months after delivery I couldn't walk far or run at all without terrible shooting pain and urinary leakage. My OB recommended pelvic floor physical therapy for urinary incontinence. There, they told me they treat a number of issues and could have even helped me during my pregnancy! I was treated with internal myofascial trigger point release and muscle strengthening exercises. It has been four years since the birth and I not only run trails but am doing triathlons. I am so thankful for their knowledge of the very intricate muscle structures of the women's pelvis. Sadly many OBGYNs in the USA do not have much knowledge about PT benefits. They treat a number of issues from urinary or fecal incontinence, chronic pelvic pain, pain from sexual assault, untreatable constipation, and many more. I have greatly benefited from pelvic floor PT and wish to share my story to let other woman know they do not have to suffer.
I completed my first ultra marathon this past month. So happy to have had the benefits from healing through Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy! Without PT, it would not have been a possibility.
Anonymous – 35 years old
I have been enjoying your artworks of lovely vulvas over the past couple of weeks and I am so pleased and amazed that you are devoting so much creative energy to this project of yours. I do believe in time it will become a go-to experience for every child and young person in the world as they grow up and learn about the range and variety of human body shapes. It’s already an amazing project and I have shown it to my daughters who are 18 and 11. I so wish, like many other women, that I’d had something like this to go to when I was younger in the 1980s and 90s. I always felt my vulva was a bit odd when I was younger but never dared ask any of my friends with vulvas how they felt about theirs.
After the birth of my first daughter I had tears that healed badly, causing lumps in my vagina and I almost had surgery to “correct” it, but the surgeon also wanted to “correct” my natural shape of my vulva to something she thought was more “normal”. The only reason I didn’t go ahead with the surgery was because I was still breast feeding my baby and didn’t want to leave her overnight without me and with a bottle. I suddenly felt insecure about my vulva again in my thirties! How ridiculous and sad!
More recently I started to despise my vulva because I was going grey. I felt like it was totally unsexy, very unattractive and when I started seeing my new partner I was too embarrassed to let them see my vulva because of the white hair. After a while I couldn’t stand it and I decided to wax it off, and keep it naked. Wow. I suddenly felt like a new woman and all my prejudices about shaved or waxed vulvas went flying out the window. I used to love my big black bush and I miss it, a bit, but I also love this new feeling and know I can grow my bush again if I want.
I love love love seeing the new vulvas each day. Keep up the wonderful work, you are a hero.
M. - 48 years old
- Content warning: this story contains information about self harm which may be triggering to some readers. -
I have always suffered from low self esteem but a really low point for me (and my vulva) was a reaction to a negative comment on the before photos of labiaplasty patients. My self confidence plummeted and I attempted to cut off the parts of my inner labia that are visible when standing: the little extra bits that get caught when riding a bike; the skin that I am conscious of when I stand front on, naked, facing somebody; the sensitive parts that touch my inner thighs when I walk unclothed, reminding me always that they are there; the bits that I tuck inside my outer labia when wearing tight jeans or riding a bike or even just when I want to stand in front of the mirror and pretend that I am ‘neat’. Luckily I didn’t get very far before the realisation of what I was attempting to do took over. I healed with no visible damage but it was the beginning of a journey to self acceptance and confidence.
I found blogs dedicated to women with larger labia and art pieces celebrating female genital diversity. The Vulva Gallery has been the icing on the cake, because to see a vulva depicted from the front, showing the limitless variety in shape, size, texture, colour and every other possible variation alongside positive messages of acceptance is a daily reminder to be kind to myself and continue to try to embrace and be proud of my uniqueness.
C. - 33 years old
It is so powerful to look at this photo and realize how much love I have grown for my vulva and my body. This love did not exist for a very long time. I remember the first time I shaved my entire vulva - and the razor burn, irritation and (omg) the itchiness that followed. One time, I tried self-waxing and I left my vulva covered in blood blisters and bruises. Then for a long while, regular Brazilian waxes were a standard part of my routine. However, as I began to grow confidence in my body and sexuality, my relationship with my vulva started to shift. I started to love the way my hair naturally gets thicker and swirls toward the middle, my unique labia lips, and those soft, dark, fine hairs that sprawl out to my thighs. I found myself being drawn to sexual partners who loved and celebrated my body the same way I was trying to. Now I am so insanely lucky to having an amazing, caring girlfriend who never hesitates to reinforce my own love of my vulva, my body and myself. This portrait is actually a present for her :) Of course, self-love and acceptance is such a journey, and I am nowhere near perfect at it, but I do feel really really grateful to be exactly where I am right now.
R. - 27 years old
I was young when I started questioning and disliking my body. I'd never really been open with my family about sex so I never understood what's healthy and what isn't. I'd found myself in an unhealthy relationship and he confirmed my insecurities telling me my body wasn't worth him or pleasure. This all changed when I met my current boyfriend, my true love. The first time I showed him my body, he called me beautiful. When he feels I'm not feeling the most confident he'll take my hand and feel my body with me and caress me gently reassuring me that I'm perfect in my own skin. Whenever I question the appearance of my vulva he says to me 'let's look at The Vulva Gallery'. So this is for the man that gave me the confidence and love I needed to love my vulva!
J. -
- Content warning: this story contains information about sexual assault and/or violence which may be triggering to survivors. -
I’ve never felt self conscious of the way my vulva looked in terms of general aesthetics, so when I found your gallery on instagram I felt kind of confused about why I’ve had a tendency to hide mine for most of my life. I’ve had loving partners who have told me how much they loved it, but I still wasn’t quite comfortable looking right at it. I think I’ve found that my hesitancy to be exposed to myself as well as partners has been a result of my first real boyfriend, who taught me the first things I learned about sex when I was fourteen, and was physically and emotionally manipulative and abusive. I think I didn’t want to engage visually with this part of myself because of how much of my emotional burden it was carrying, if that makes sense. It took many years but I have overcome and unlearnt almost all of the pain and the shame that he made me feel. Seeing your gallery pop up in my feed and looking at all of the different beautiful people you have portrayed has been so helpful in wanting to love every part of my own vulva, and see the beauty in what I have overcome. Thank you for doing this work! It would be an honor to be a part of your gallery.
F. -
The brief story begins here: I started becoming sexually active at 14, my vulva was not something that bothered me, until I began to notice that its size was increasing and the colors changed with time. When I started having relationships with girls, I realized that it was very different from the rest of them. Although all are, my vulva was the largest, the most colorful, wrinkled and even the funniest of all.
It's still hard for me to accept myself as I am, but your page is very helpful! Since we are all diverse.
Thank you very much for letting me be part of your gallery and congratulations for your great talent!
V. - 23 years old
It took me some time figuring out that my vulva is just as much a part of my body as the rest of it and that it deserves appreciation exactly the way it looks. I am really happy that your work is helping others to get to that point of full acceptance too.
I also recently (finally!) started to date women and it’s so much more joy to see with my own eyes how much beauty is out there!
L. - 22 years old
I grew up not putting much consideration into my vulva and what it looked like and whether it was up to “men’s” standards and what not. It wasn’t until I became an exotic dancer and began seeing a lot of beautiful photos of porn stars’ vulvas that I realized my vulva was not "perfect", it wasn’t light colored and completely free of scars and other markings, and I felt it wasn’t cute and small and petit. I became very self conscious about it, embarrassed to show it to new lovers. I’ve even used different bleaching creams and skin fixing methods on it and I even began doing laser hair removal to try to perfect mine. I’m still on my journey to complete self love but at this point in time I feel so much more confident and I’ve grown to appreciate my vulva and love her for who she is. The Gulva Gallery helped me so much in realizing that there are so many women like me and my vulva like every other woman’s is just as unique and special.
A. - 21 years old
As for my story, I hadn't really considered if I had one. Maybe.. My sexuality has been such a rollercoaster from day 1. I still don't know what's up and down with it. My vagina, like so many others, has seen negative experiences and praise and the negative experiences stick more. But I love my vulva today. I cherish it the same way I cherish my sexuality. The piercing was a dream of mine, and it has given me such a permanent confidence boost; more than my nicest dress would ever do. It makes me feel hella wicked.
L. - 24 years old
I watch you change,
As the years pass,
The days grow shorter
All the while, I grow older
A path of your own
In-synch with nature
My job is to appreciate
My ever-growing flower
Like an O’Keefe painting
Letting go of the conditioning,
I am trying to find love,
Appreciation and honor
I know this flower is bigger than me
For it is a metaphor
For love, growth, compassion and strength
Softness, receptivity, emotion, sexual-wavelength
You are not bare
Balanced
Easy
You provide challenge
Healing
Tenderness
Opening
Like an ocean
You’re deep
Vast
And mysterious
I’m doing my best to find compassion
Your every imperfection
Your every imbalance
Blossom with the years
Maturity and wisdom
You know so much
I am trying to listen
G. - 24 years old
I tend to be much meaner to myself than I could ever be towards someone else. I would feel guilty if I just thought something unsavory about someone else, yet when it came to me, I was the most cruel.
The mean thoughts I had about my body started around puberty. At first, I hated my body for changing and becoming something I had not anticipated. When my mother approached me about wearing a bra for the first time, I threw a fit and screamed at her in rage: how dare she think I have breasts? I hated the sanitary pad talks, the pride my mother and grandmother showed me for "becoming a woman," the new pain I was feeling once a month, but most of all, I hated my body. Why was it so complicated? Why couldn't I have just continued living in my prepubescent body? And why was all of this out of my control?
In my teenage years, as the idea of change settled in and I got over my puberty denial, my thoughts developed and fixated, and the hatred towards my body became more specialized. I hated my breasts for being too apart, my stomach for not being flat enough, my thighs for touching. But my vulva remained my worst enemy. The internet did not help things either: If I saw a meme of a pastrami (or whatever other meat) sandwich that was compared to a vulva, I would think of my vulva: why does it look like that? I didn't look closely at my vulva with a mirror until I was in my twenties because I was afraid of what I would see. I wouldn't let lovers see or touch my genitals because I was too ashamed. I went as far as having a consultation with a surgeon for a labiaplasty, all the while thinking that I should be so embarrassed to show him the horrendous thing between my legs!
A change in perspective has helped me come a long way. Today, I try to approach my body as if it were another person, and I treat it with the kindness and consideration that I would show others.
This includes sustaining it through healthy and filling foods, cleaning it with safe and nourishing products, and letting it rest as much as it needs to. Most importantly, this approach relies on me thinking about my body in a supportive and loving manner. If I find myself not particularly enjoying some aspect of my body, I restrain myself from thinking negative thoughts. For example, I will think "let me wear something that will complement your curvy shape" instead of "this makes my thighs look fat." I will also apologize to my arm if, for example, I accidentally burn it with a curling iron. I will tell my toes they look beautiful in red, and I will ask my stomach to be patient when I have PMS. When considering labiaplasty, or a sugary meal, or getting a tan, or staying up too late, I will ask my body "am I hurting you?"
Today, my labia are just as long as they ever were, and I love them that way! I try to show my vulva how much I care by accesorizing it! Recently, it has been sporting a landing strip, which I think compliments it well.
I never want my body to feel like I don't love it. I really do believe that the body is "someone" else: If you treat it badly, it will cower and weaken. If you support it, love it and nourish it, it will flourish, and it will thank you.
R. - 23 years old
My sweet honeypot. You are a paradox; you are so strong, yet at times so fragile. So pretty, yet sometimes not so much. You are unique to me, and that is such a blessing. I hope all woman can embrace the uniqueness that lies between their legs.
E. - 21 years old
