So, I’ve always hated the look of my vulva. It always looked so fat and disgusting until I got a boyfriend. At the beginning of our relationship, he said it's beautiful and this really increased my self-esteem. I’m so happy with my vulva now!
P. - 21 years old
I’ve always been super ashamed of my vulva. I always thought she was ugly and I feel that watching porn (when I was younger and still to this day) had only exacerbated that notion. My mind was warped by porn about what mine should look like and for a very long time I denied myself the sexual pleasure of oral sex from guys because I was so ashamed and nervous of judgment. Although I should have realised it on my own, when the right guy came along (who I’m still with) he made me feel like a goddess, untouchable, utterly beautiful! He made me feel so confident in that my vag is beautiful how she is! In addition, positive body image accounts like yours and others have really helped me to zone out negative false and fake media of typical skinny/white/insta-fit chicks and accept myself for the whole of who I am!
H. - 23 years old
I have to start by saying how much I love your page! Having multiple children made me worry that it would somehow change my vulva's appearance. I would feel self conscious about it especially during each pregnancy. I never hated my vulva, but didn’t connect with it. Didn’t appreciate or value it. It birthed my amazing children — that in itself is beauty and love. This page has made me appreciate and value it so much. We are all different. We are all unique. No single look defines what is “normal” or “perfect” — and to me that is beauty.
J. - 28 years old
I’ve always been happy with my vulva, I think it’s pretty. Sexual partners have always told me it’s very sexy and I agree, I would even go so far as to say that I am proud of it. And that’s why I think this account is so great, it doesn’t only celebrate diversity but it confirms that we can be proud of our vulvas and of our sexuality. So often we are told that female sexuality is something to be ashamed and quiet about and it saddens me. I’m proud of my sexuality and I feel great freedom in sharing this pride, without being called a slut. I’ve recently started sharing my body on an anonymous Instagram account and I love it so far.
I think it’s too bad we live in a world where I don’t feel safe enough to come out of the anonymous though, because I feel like it would tarn my reputation in other aspects of my life. Maybe some day!
F. - 25 years old
The only thing I hated about my vulva is her hair. In porn, I saw people’s vulvas appeared to be hairless or close to hairless. The boys that I used to be with always preferred a bare one. And I just didn’t understand why mine was so different from what I saw in porn. I didn’t understand why mine was considered unattractive. So I tried shaving and even lasering, just to achieve that “fresh” look. The more I tried, the more I was insecure about myself. It took me a while to learn that porn was unreal, and that other people’s opinions on my body shouldn’t be validated. I’m growing out my vulva’s hair now, and I hope I’ll learn to love my own body through this process.
T. - 19 years old
My parents are hippies LOL, we grew up with very healthy attitudes about our bodies. My mom even reminded us of the correct anatomical names for all our 'lovely lady parts'. Truth is I have never even thought much about how my vulva looks. After giving birth to my son I have to admit that the twenty-two stitches it took to put me back together were daunting, but like all my other scars they remind me of the battles I have survived! Neither of the lovers I've been with have ever commented negatively, just questions about the battle scars.
I am a breast cancer survivor who is currently awaiting reconstruction surgery after a mastectomy and chemotherapy. It took me a long time as a single woman to come to terms with my scars and even look at my chest but time really did heal for me.
A. - 42 years old
When I was growing up, it never occurred to me to question the way my vulva looked. It just was what it was - a vulva. The first time I felt self conscious about my vulva was when I, at the age of maybe 13 or 14, somewhat shocked, learned that my two female friends were shaving their vulvas completely. I forgot about the incident until my first boyfriend, a couple of years later, commented on my “bush.” I started waxing and shaving, waxing and shaving, even though I loved my hair. Every time I went from hair to no hair, I felt like I was losing a part of myself. I didn’t like the naked feeling, but I kept doing it because I thought it was what I was supposed to do. My second long-term boyfriend, emotionally abusive, commented on my clitoris. He said it was abnormally large and protruding. Never before had I questioned my clitoris. After that, I felt like it was standing out to far, strange, unfeminine, ugly. Until today, 6 years later, I’m still self conscious about my clitoris. Sometimes I even look for proof that it’s weird, focusing on vulvas that are different. I’m back to (most of) my pubic hair, but still catch myself wondering whether my sexual partners are discomforted by it. Sad to see how outside voices build up self consciousness and self criticism, making us think more about what others think than how we feel comfortable. I’m happy to see that there are also efforts to normalise vulva differences, which is why I love your blog!
F. - 26 years old
I shaved or waxed my vulva as soon as it started growing hair because I was worried that the red was too weird! It was rashy and painful and I wanted anyone to see it. Now that I have a good relationship with it I let it grow and I love its lush red color!!
E. - 22 years old
I’m 39 and the first time that I looked at my vulva with a mirror was 5 years ago with my best friend. We sat on our beds, each with our mirror, looking at our vulva. It was exciting. We looked at a book with many vulvas and matched ours. So many different and beautiful vulvas! For many years, I thought my vulva was strange. I didn't have pictures of the big variety, only a standard picture of a "perfect vulva". It is so important to see how different our vulvas are. And each is beautiful and unique. Therefore I am so happy about this gallery and the possibility to see the diversity. I hope my daughters can accept their vulvas earlier and believe in their singularity and beauty.
U. - 39 years old
So I've always been ashamed of my vulva and actually I still am. When I was only 10 years old my pubic hair started growing and I got my first period. When I got older the hairs got more dense and they became thicker. They started growing down my legs and up to my belly button. I still hate it and I feel ashamed about it. But I learned to live with it and it's kinda okay now. But actually I still hate it to be naked, even in front of my boyfriend. Luckily he makes me feel comfortable and I know he likes my vulva and has absolutely no problems with it and those (probably not that disgusting) hairs. And I like that feeling. It makes me more self confident.
L. - 22 years old
Since I was an adolescent I was comparing my vulva - the color, shape, size - with the ones of porn stars. I was ashamed, and I decided to never marry anyone because I was convinced they would be shocked by how I looked. And then I fell in love with someone, and I was worried about the day when we are going to *faire l'amour*. I talked with him about it and he was the most welcoming person. He made me feel comfortable and told me: "So what! It is your vulva, be proud of it." Having someone like him in my life makes me feel blessed everyday. I thank him for being the most humble person I ever met.
S. - 21 years old
I never really thought twice about my vulva growing up. I never felt insecure about it or felt any way about it, really. Until I became a teenager in high school, and I discovered that I had a nickname: “camel toe.” I have what you could call a “fat vulva” (or fat pussy, as they used to say). It’s very thick skinned, and if you pinch it there’s a lot of fat in that area. So much, that sometimes it’s visible through my clothing. I immediately became insecure for the next handful of years. Trying clothes on I would just stare at my crotch through my clothing and wonder why my vulva was so visible and wishing it would shrink. Watching porn and seeing “skinny” vulvas that were barely there made me feel like I had a monster in my pants. I felt this way until about a year or so ago, when I realized that everyone’s body is so different and that it’s such a waste of your precious time and energy to be upset over things you cannot control. Finding The Vulva Gallery on Instagram has also allowed for me to let that insecurity go and embrace what makes me unique.
Z. - 25 years old
This is a duo-portrait of a lovely person who wanted to become part of the gallery. She underwent labiaplasty surgery, and wanted to share portraits of her vulva before and after surgery in the gallery. The first illustration her vulva before the surgery; the second illustration is her vulva now.
This is her story: "I am 23 years old. I started my vulva battle when I was only 13. I first started to notice that my vulva was larger than average when I turned to thongs and g-strings at a young age. Briefs would cause my labia to be suffocated and I would always be rearranging my pants and pulling out front wedgies. I was undergoing complete discomfort daily. When I started my period I couldn't bare to wear sanitary towels as they would be super uncomfortable. So I have always worn tampons. I had to shave constantly as hair on my labia would cause terrible itching. I turned to my doctor at 17 years and 8 months old. He said I was completely normal and I would grow into it. I never grew into it and my never ending battle began. I have seen numerous gynaecologists and surgeons and they all told me I was too young and it was fine. I hated the way my vulva caused me distress in daily life. I wanted to cut it off. I am 23 now and in December 2017 I paid for private surgery. I had an outer and inner labiaplasty and a clitoris hood reduction and I haven't looked back since. I love the way my vulva makes me feel now and I'm so glad I went through what I did then to be where I am now.
S. - 23 years old
My relationship with my vulva has been complicated. I remember when I was young; I absolutely loved being naked and feeling free. I also remember when that began to change, around when my body started to change too. In my first introductions to sexualized women, porn, and the idea of sex, I saw vulvas like mine were not only not represented, but also talked about on other women as “disgusting”. In some ways, it is a blessing, as I only feel safe sharing my body with people I really trust. But most of the time, even as a body positive feminist, I struggle with shame and embarrassment. I’ve had many sleepless nights googling labiaplasty and reading stories of women who are like me. Learning to love yourself and your body is an intensely challenging path, but I really hope to get there someday.
P. - 26 years old
My relationship to my vulva has been an ever changing one. When I was younger, I didn't really think too much about it - to me it looked kind of weird, but I thought it was just pretty normal for it to look weird, so I didn't mind it. It wasn't until my first long term sexual relationship where I started to feel like it was betraying me. I would get these things called Bartholin gland cysts. They are these little glands that help lubricate at the opening of the vagina. They are supposed to be the size of a pea in a pod, mine would get blocked and would swell up to anywhere from the size of a cherry to a small clementine. Sometimes the small ones would go away on their own, or I would try various methods: poultices, Epsom salt baths, silica, massage, heat pads, different oils. I'd try anything, but sometimes they would get infected and swell bigger, and I would be in the emergency room with a fever and vomiting. I've never experienced anything to be so painful. The doctor would have to lance (cut) the swollen area to get the gland to drain. I've been to the hospital four times for this. Having this much trauma happen to such a sensitive area made me resent my vulva. It strained my relationship because I felt like I couldn't have a normal sex life, and I felt like my body was rejecting my lover. The doctors never gave me any helpful advice and told me there isn't too much information about it. There is a surgery that I can have that will remove my glands all together, but I've read some mixed reviews and worry about how it will affect my vulva and my sex life. I'm constantly reading about how to heal or stabilize this chronic problem I have. I love this project and am so inspired by all of the vulvas that are shown and that have incredible voices attached to them. Thank you for hearing mine.
H. - 22 years old
Since I was a little girl, I've always been very tall. Because of that, it took me a long time to accept the size of my legs, the width of my thighs, and how my vulva looks. I thought my vulva was too big and white, and unattractive. By the influence of the media, and with the pressure on women in general, it took time to be comfortable with myself. I was focused on other people's bodies, and thought that if mine wasn’t like them, it would not be appreciable. Today, accepting my body and being kinder to my soul, I can finally see how beautiful I am, and how beautiful my vulva is. Accepting my body is a inexplicable freedom. So, every day, I learn how to love myself more, accepting and loving my vulva how much as I can!
Every woman should have the right to think she is beautiful. We have to have the right to appreciate our bodies, and consequently, the differences and the beauty of each of our vulvas.
M. -
I was 12 years old when I noticed that my vulva was different from the model conveyed ordinarily. I was flipping through the dictionary, and found an illustration of the female human body. A few years later I was the only one of my friends who didn't want to wash together after a sludge battle. It was then that I realized that I was afraid of their judgment. I didn't tell anyone about it. When I was 16 years old, I regularly cried in my pillow, and I made the decision to give up my sexuality forever. I insulted myself of "monster" thinking to be alone in the world to have large vulvar lips. A few years later I did research online which gave me confidence to start my first love and be naked together with someone for the first time. It just relieved me of what I thought was a burden, but which wasn't in reality. Now that I am a woman, I feel stronger and more seductive than ever. Thanks to the reassuring men I knew. But also thanks to the recent democratization of the physical diversity of female bodies. We are all beautiful!!
E. - 23 years old
I guess it started early high school, when a health teacher misinformed the class on how labia should look. He made it seem like there was only one type. I didn't realize I had never paid attention to mine, but later, I realized mine didn't match and it made me self conscious. Later on I became scared - not only because I thought my own parts were ugly and deformed, but I also feared that someone, somewhere, would use it to hurt me. Already being an anxious teenager, that stuck with me. I pretended my own vulva wasn't there; if it wasn't there I had nothing for my anxiety to latch on to. And if it wasn't there, it couldn't be used to hurt me. It wasn't okay to look at, nor touch, and it made me very naive to my own body. I think that caused more anxiety. Anxious of what I didn't know. Now, at 22, I'm slowly walking away from that fear and anxiety thanks to my girlfriend and good friends and places like this gallery show that me I'm fine the way I am and that I can't live in fearing a part of myself that will never not be a part of me.
B. - 23 years old
As long as I can remember, I thought everything was wrong with my physical makeup, but especially that I was too fat and that my vulva looked how it did because I was fat. In my mind it was the only explanation as to why I had full, round labia majora and a very small tucked away clitoris and labia minora. I didn't know how to change how I looked, and so, begrudgingly lived with my vulva. When I became sexual, I felt relieved that no one commented on my vulva, however, I dissociated and so struggled to enjoy myself. In my early adulthood, a "friend" followed me into the bathroom and confronted me about my vulva on behalf of her boyfriend, who had seen a peek through my pajama shorts and apparently had "never seen one like mine" and was baffled. I was mortified. Their confronting me validated my fear that there was something wrong with my vulva, and it made me feel so much shame. I've been working on self acceptance, but It wasn't until I found The Vulva Gallery that the love for my vulva blossomed. She's been awakened and was forgiving of my negativity and neglect. She is beautiful and round, just like the rest of my beautiful, round body. I hope that sharing my vulva portrait will help someone with healing and acceptance, the way the other portraits shared on The Vulva Gallery helped me.
J. - 31 years old
I find myself almost daily tucking my labia inside of my vulva to hide them (well one really as it’s longer than the other). Before finding The Vulva Gallery I was seriously considering surgery for labiaplasty. I’m still not there with 100% loving myself for who I am, but I’m working towards it and The Vulva Gallery helped with that.
Z. - 29 years old
