So many of us are on this journey of falling back in love with our vulvas

"Reading these posts is both strangely reassuring and heartbreaking – so many of us are on this journey of falling back in love with our vulvas.

It feels like a contradiction: I’m a midwife and sexual health nurse who has spent years counselling others about their beautiful, diverse bodies. I’ve seen firsthand the incredible diversity of vulvas – and yet behind the scenes, I’ve become increasingly disconnected from my own.

I started taking testosterone around six years ago to affirm my gender, and have found my changing anatomy has stirred up old, internalised shame and feelings of undesirability. My vulva has always been more prominent than the ones I saw growing up in media and pornography – and I’ve since learned that the Australian Classification Board guidelines restrict the depiction of inner labia, requiring them to be airbrushed into a “single crease.” Definitely not helpful, and I’m sure has a continued negative impact on vulva-owners around the country!

There’s also been a lot of anxiety about how cisgender gay men might perceive my body – I’ve sometimes felt like I needed to apologise for having a vulva at all. As someone whose sexuality has always been a big part of my identity, working through that fear has been slow but deeply affirming.

This journey is still very much a work in progress, but I’m unpacking it and becoming more unapologetic about my body every day." – F, 32 years old, Australia (he/they)