Ever since I could remember, I've been terrified and disgusted over the appearance of my body, the number one issue being that of my vulva. My inner labia have always been uneven, the left being small and the right being about 1.5 - 2 inches long. The inner area has always been a darker color and my clitoris rather large. My labia would show outside of my outer labia, causing it to be uncomfortable to sit down sometimes as it'd get caught in my underwear. The sexual education course that was taught to us in middle school didn't help much either. They only taught us the basics of the vulva and just barely touched the subject of the penis as it was the all female class. The simple drawing presented to us of the vulva looked nothing like mine, in size, shape, or color. I was afraid to be in the class, because I felt so disgusted by my abnormal appearance - I felt like a freak. For the rest of my childhood and early adolescence, I would continue to loathe my own body. I would be too afraid to take baths or showers, as I'd have to confront my looks. I was too afraid to ask anyone for advice or even help on the matter. One day while in the bathroom, I used a hand mirror to see every detail of myself as I was a curious child. But that simple curiosity of my own body sent me into a panic attack, crying on the bathroom floor. I even contemplated cutting off my longer labia. I felt even more hatred for myself after I begun menstruating, as it just made it more difficult to deal with my "abnormal" genitals. At age 13/14 I started having boys interested in me. One boy wanted to have intercourse with me at some point, but I was too afraid as to what he'd think. Would he laugh at me? Would he think I had some STD? Would he make fun of me and tell his friends?? I completely shut myself away from many people, as this was the only thing they were interested in. Shortly after my 14th birthday, I met this guy who was different from the rest. I didn't see us lasting but I gave him a chance. He turned out to be the sweetest, most caring guy I've met, even though I was only 14. (young love, heh) Almost a year later, we started exploring sexual activities. I had never showed him or told him about how I looked, because I didn't want to drive him away. It took me about 5 months before I felt confident enough to show him my vulva, and 2 more years before showing him my entire body. And he loved me none the less, because he understood that vulvas aren't "perfect" and that they don't all look the same. He's helped me to love and embrace myself, as it only makes me more unique. We're still together today. After I found this page, I only felt more comfortable and empowered about my body and my vulva. I only hope that young vulva owners everywhere get the proper education about their own bodies. The lack of up to date sexual education I received is mostly to blame for my insecurities. The fashion of the vulva and uterus is just as important as its function. Thank you so much for allowing me to share my story!
P. - 18 years old