In the past few months I received many beautiful and touching messages and stories from people all around the world.
With permission from the people who shared their stories with me, I'm now sharing the most touching and empowering stories here with you.
If you also want to (anonymously) share a story with me, you can send me a message through the contact form.
YOUR SCARS ARE NOT A FLAW
Ever since puberty, I have had pimples turn up on my bum and bikini line. I was so humiliated by them and terrified at the thought of anyone ever seeing my vulva and bum because of it. Shaving my pubic hair irritated the hair follicles really badly and would cause pimples again. After many years of this, my bikini line was left with dark purple Acne scars, and I still get the occasional pimple on the bikini line. I felt disgusting, gross, and frankly repulsive to any possible sexual partners. I remember wanting to only have sex with lights dim or off so they couldn't see. How could they not stare at the marks on me? How would they not be repulsed if they had oral sex with me? I felt intense insecurity and shame over the marks on my bikini line, especially since I couldn't find any images of people similar to me.
However, as I researched, I learnt many people with vulvas also had acne marks and scar marks on their bikini line and sides of mons pubis like I did. The online world gave me tips to help lessen the colouring of the scarring and tips on how to keep my vulva healthy, and knowing others were like me deeply comforted my fears.
After three separate sexual partners, I realised how irrational my fear of repulsion was. Most people who want to be intimate with you aren't going to stare and judge your body parts, they are there because they want to be intimate with you. I have had supportive and loving partners, who have complimented my vulva knowing how insecure I am which has helped me.
I still have difficulty accepting my scars and vulva sometimes. I still sometimes get shy and embarrassed by my scars. I know I'll always have some level of insecurity over my vulva and bikini line, but with research, respect and love from partners, I have learnt to take some measure of love in my scars. They are an extension of my body, and though some may seem them as flaws (including myself at times), I know these scars are just my bodies path into forming the human I am today, forming my body into a grown up from child.
For anyone finding trouble accepting their marks and scars in such intimate areas, I suggest baby steps. Start with simply learning your body, learning you. You will eventually find love in your individuality, in your quirks, slowly but surely.
I LOVE MY MONS PUBIS
I have always been a slightly bigger-than-average woman. I was aware of it when I was a kid and I secretly longed to be like the rest of the girls in my class: they were petit and gracious whereas I was quite concerned about what I looked like as a whole. My very specific problem was my tummy so I didn't analyse my body beyond that, I didn't even think about my mons pubis. 'Luckily' someone made me aware of how fat, big and ugly it was. It was essential to hide it.
Going to the beach was a great deal. I had my swimsuits either made or chosen with a fringe to conceal my 'big' mons. I was not allowed to lie down on the sand without bending one or both of my legs. It was not proper. My mons was large. I do remember well the first time I just lied down (not so long ago)... It gave me a sour-sweet taste: I was not decent but what was wrong with it? It turned out to be delightful. No body looked at it!!! It was absolutely normal!
I became a happy teenager who had to be on a diet once a year. One of those diets was the preparation for a mons liposuction. The only thing that prevented me from it was the cost. If I had the money, I would have gone through it.
Many years passed. Now I'm a grown-up and I have reconsidered all this. I can say that I did not have a problem with my mons pubis. Someone else did and made me think it was my problem when, in reality, it was hers. She was successful because I felt ashamed of it for years.
Oddly enough, none of my partners complained about it. My mons was loved and pampered and I was encouraged to love it as it is. It was so good to have compliments and warm words. They reminded me that every woman is beautiful as are their mons. I will never cover it again. I am determined to love me.
It is by complete chance that I came across this profile! And I'm actually feeling quite emotional right now. Thank you so so so much for having this profile here - I have always thought that the way I 'look down there' is abnormal and strange and weird and even 'off-putting' because it doesn't look like the diagrams in textbooks etc. I'm so happy I came across this page - it has now given me such an appreciation for my own unique body. Thank you so much! It's incredibly empowering and inspiring.
By the way, I've now started wearing a swimming costume without shorts! And I'm proud of it. Thank you for giving me the confidence to do so!
THANKS, CASUAL SEX !
I just want to say thank you. As a teenager I was kind of conditioned to believed that my vulva was ugly - by porn... I kept telling myself that I wanted to stay virgin till 18, because I'm "not a whore", and stuff like that. But come on, we all know that was bullshit. Soon I realized that the reason I wanted to stay a virgin is because I was VERY self conscious about my vulva. I honestly thought it was disgusting and never wanted to show it to anyone else. So when I first had sex, I was pretty much shocked. The guy didn't care. At all. The next one. Didn't care. The next one, the next one and so on. They ALL told me I was beautiful, while having sex. And that made me realize, I was normal. Thanks, casual sex!
I am normal, I am beautiful, my vulva is beautiful. And your account is beautiful. THANK YOU for showing women, girls that they are normal and beautiful!
I THOUGHT I LOOKED WEIRD
I just wanted to say that you're amazing. I remember when I was younger I thought mine looked so weird because I thought it was different from some dirty magazine I'd once seen on accident. It was really upsetting and I felt so different. I've learned now that no vaginas are the same, but even still I didn't realise how much I needed to read the things you say in captions until I added you recently. Thank you so much!
EDUCATING MY LITTLE SISTER
Hi there, I'm sure you get so many messages telling you how wonderful your work is, but I wanted to tell you how it has truly made me feel better about myself. I've gotten my young sister to take a look at your page so she can understand and acknowledge there are loads of different vulvas and every one of them is normal so she doesn't grow up ever thinking hers isn't normal as many of my friends and I have.
I think your work is truly incredible so I just wanted to say thank you.
Oh my goodness! You are such a gem. Honestly, you've made my day. Thank you SO much for representing vulvas of so many different shapes, sizes, colours, just everything. I've seen a recent post of yours and ..... for the first time ever, I saw an illustration and thought ..... wow!!! That looks just like me!!!!! I've NEVER felt any kind of reassurance from ANY sort of media about that area and the fact that you're dedicating an entire page of Instagram to bringing this feeling of belonging and joy to so many women makes me so happy. You are to be immensely congratulated. It is a feeling like no other. I've always felt that I'm strange, odd even, not rightly shaped down there in certain ways, since my main exposure to vulvas and majority of people's I'm assuming is through porn, which whilst I know is extremely unrealistic grows this feeling inside of you that you're not good enough somehow if you don't look like this prim, proper, perfectly shaven and basically inner labia-less vulvas. But YOU'RE working to change that and it is just so so beautiful that you are, and I cannot thank you enough, not just from me but on behalf of all women who have the privilege of following your page. Hope you have a beautiful day.
I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for your illustrations and convincing me that my vulva is perfectly "normal" and not too long, too ruffly, too pinkish brown, or gross. I'm 41, and I can't believe it took me this long to accept myself. I love what you're doing!!
I FEEL BETTER NOW
Thank you for this account. I always feel like my vulva just sort of looks too "big" like the labia are too "out there." But it's because all images are inaccurate representations that make it look like women have cute little vulvas that don't really have any labia. But I feel better now.
BE PROUD OF YOUR BODY
You are amazing. Love your work. I think that whatever size or shape body you have, it’s important to embrace it and get down! The female body is something that’s so beautiful. I wish women would be proud of their bodies and not diss other women for being proud of theirs!
VULVA ART MADE ME REALISE I'M PERFECTLY NORMAL
I really appreciate your work! Like so many others I used to think that my vulva was weird and abnormal just because I once read online an article describing how to perform oral sex with something like 'separate the outer labia to get to the inner ones' and I was just thinking WHAT - 'cause my inner labia were so very much on the "outside", so I googled a bit only to stumble upon others in forums who were equally worried about their labia being too much. Sadly some of the comments from ignorant guys got to me, saying that if the inner labia were too visible, they should be hidden by a certain amount of pubic hair... I felt ashamed about it for years, until I eventually came across a wide variety of vulvae presented through art like yours, illustrating that no matter how it looks it's perfectly normal!
I still need to practice my self love in that area, but I'm just so thankful there's people like you making and effort to promote the natural beauty of the female genitalia and inspire us all to love and accept ourselves for who we are. It's so important and your work gives me hope that especially the younger generation will come to realise this truth a lot sooner than I did. So thank you!
- A little side note to my story: in the Norwegian language there is a lot of words describing parts of female genitale consisting of the word 'skam' which translates to 'shame', which obviously is a very negative association to be stuck with from the first time one learns the different names. But apparently our word for cunt (fitte) stems from a word that means wetland, which is pretty nice!
EMBRACE YOUR VULVA
When I was around 13 years old I went to this party with my friend in a smaller town, it was her cousin's social group. This boy walked up to me and asked me if I had "beef curtains" and then the group of them burst into laughter. I didn't originally know what he was talking about until someone explained to me her was referring to my inner vaginal lips. I've got "meat" down there so this absolutely traumatized me that my lips could be dubbed into a mockable category of vaginas. I wondered if he asked me this because I was chubby, or why they would choose me for such a question! I still have bouts of insecurity towards my vagina and have been worried about it being too saggy or long in that nature since then. Thankfully I have had some really healthy partners that have boosted my self esteem in this department. Nevertheless, this affected me very harshly as a growing woman. As self love has taken over, I prefer it! Even in other women I always find bigger minora lips to be more beautiful to me! Embrace your vulva, no matter the size of any of it!
I love your account so much for so many reasons! It’s a little heartbreaking that so many people, myself included, have spent so many years in feeling that our vulvas are “gross” and should look differently. It took me until this year, when I found your page and entered into a relationship with a great, loving person, that I have actually totally accepted how my vulva looks. Because it’s normal! I also really love that in your posts, you never say “women with vulvas”, you say “people with vulvas”. There needs to be more trans and nonbinary inclusion in body positivity, and you are doing that so thank you so much!